So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
