"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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