smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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