Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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