just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
