In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
