Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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