the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
