idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
