just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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