i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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