dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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