I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
