the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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