omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
