For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
