guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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