Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
