So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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