so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Drake has all the answers
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
