don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
time to smoke my breakfast
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
