We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Found your dick twin last night
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
