It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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