I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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