My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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