Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
honey bunches of taint.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
