Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
