Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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