i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
