$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
