the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
