i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
