Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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