Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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