Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
