Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
