I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
