Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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