being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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