I need help removing her.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
