so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize