we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Drake has all the answers
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
