i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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