mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
