thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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