Im at strip club and am horny
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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