Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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