guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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