i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
How drunk are you?
Completed.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
