I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
