I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
