So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
