Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
