remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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