the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
