Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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