"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
