you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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