OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
