whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
