im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
