i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Someone shattered a urinal.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
