I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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