So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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