I'm drive I can fine osifer
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize