My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
