ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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