we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
why do cheetos always look like penises
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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