i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
