Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
