it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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