They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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